Managers keep hoop dreams alive

George W. Bush ruined my intramural basketball game Monday night.

Yes, this is a real thing that happened.

Actually, Lipscomb just closed the Student Activity Center to host a donor event. But I still blame Dubya for crushing my hoop dreams for the night.

This is the closest thing to a political commentary that you will ever read on this blog.

One of the first questions everyone asks me (and all other managers, I assume) is if I get to practice with the team. I don’t. I’m a student assistant coach. My job is to go to every practice (and game) and make the real coaches’ jobs easier.

The whole reason I manage is to be around the game, but doing laundry, running drills and passing out water simply doesn’t do enough for me sometimes. Luckily, there’s enough losers like me that still care way too much about their high-school hobbies, and they formed a league at Lipscomb (and many other schools) for intramural basketball.

It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive sometimes. It also makes me feel completely, literally dead, as most intramural teams do not participate in a preseason conditioning regimen. But intramurals are life because ball is life.

lil dicky
Comedy rapper Lil Dicky claims to have once been a perennial “rec-league MVP” in his highly NSFW classic, “Lemme Freak.”

Zack and I are in the same boat. He played small private-school ball as well and clearly misses playing, so he joined an intramural team, too. The problem is, he didn’t join mine. Our teams faced off a few weeks ago, and he didn’t even show up. (He was replaced by redshirt Rob Marberry, which is definitely not fair). We lost by 45 due to Rob, an Actual Division I Athlete, being present. It frankly doesn’t count in my book.

At bigger Division I schools that have full squads of managers–we have four–there are actually manager games, usually late at night the day before the Real Teams play. (Dana O’Neil wrote a whole article about this for ESPN). That’s the dream for Zack and me.

Anyway, multiple tangents aside, we play tonight (Tuesday night) at 9 p.m., and I expect nothing less than searing pain in my entire body, at least two airballs, and the feeling of competition that I’m hopelessly addicted to.

It’s no Division I, but it’s hoop dreams nonetheless.

What absurd dreams do you have that you just aren’t giving up on?

5 thoughts on “Managers keep hoop dreams alive

  1. I actually laughed out loud at the first part of this, good ole George W Bush. I love that even on a small campus, we have intramural sports that we can play. I definitely still want to drop out of school and travel the world, but I don’t think that’s an option right now…


  2. I really liked what you posted here. I can relate to this because I play intramural soccer. I was never good enough to play on the collegiate level, so intramural was a good way to play it out. I’ve played in the SAC before and it has been closed several times for several reason, which can be somewhat annoying. Good post!


    1. I like a lot. I learned quite a bit about what intramural soccer from personally speaking to you across from me. You are making me laugh in class for your rant on Bush’s speech postponing the game. It sounds like you and some other Zack are dedicated. You are one funny guy


  3. That was awesome! Super insightful and fun! I’m sorry you think it’s lame to still hold on to high-school hobbies because I think it’s awesome! I wish I still did! I also wish I was athletic enough to even play an intramural! It’s a sad truth! Great post! The insight into your basketball life rocks!


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